Ramblings, opinions, and general meanderings from the Deep South

Saturday, November 13, 2010

I Don't Care Who You Are, This is Funny!

Got this in email from Ashy. It has to be one of the funniest things I've ever read in my life!! If you are a liberal without a sense of humor you might not want to read any further. You probably will anyway...

From The Manitoba Herald

by Clive Runnels

The flood of American liberals sneaking across the border into Canada
has intensified this week, sparking calls for increased patrols to
stop the illegal immigration. The results of the recent election is
prompting an exodus among left-leaning citizens who fear they'll soon
be required to hunt, pray, and to agree with Bill O'Reilly and Glenn Beck.

Canadian border farmers say it's not uncommon to see dozens of
sociology professors, animal-rights activists and Unitarians crossing
their fields at night. "I went out to milk the cows the other day,
and there was a Hollywood producer huddled in the barn," said
Manitoba farmer Red Greenfield, whose acreage borders North Dakota.
The producer was cold, exhausted and hungry. He asked me if I could
spare a latte and some free-range chicken.

When I said I didn't have any, he left before I even got a chance to
show him my screenplay, eh?"

In an effort to stop the illegal aliens, Greenfield erected higher
fences, but the liberals scaled them. He then installed loudspeakers
that blared Rush Limbaugh across the fields.

"Not real effective," he said. "The liberals still got through and
Rush annoyed the cows so much that they wouldn't give any milk."

Officials are particularly concerned about smugglers who meet
liberals near the Canadian border, pack them into Volvo station
wagons and drive them across the border where they are simply left to
fend for themselves." A lot of these people are not prepared for our
rugged conditions," an Ontario border patrolman said. "I found one
carload without a single bottle of imported drinking water. They did
have a nice little Napa Valley Cabernet, though."

When liberals are caught, they're sent back across the border, often
wailing loudly that they fear retribution from conservatives. Rumors
have been circulating about plans being made to build re-education
camps where liberals will be forced to drink domestic beer and watch
NASCAR races.

In recent days, liberals have turned to ingenious ways of crossing
the border. Some have been disguised as senior citizens taking a bus
trip to buy cheap Canadian prescription drugs. After catching a
half-dozen young vegans in powdered wig disguises, Canadian
immigration authorities began stopping buses and quizzing the
supposed senior citizens about Perry Como and Rosemary Clooney to
prove that they were alive in the '50s. "If they can't identify the
accordion player on The Lawrence Welk Show, we become very suspicious
about their age" an official said.

Canadian citizens have complained that the illegal immigrants are
creating an organic-broccoli shortage and are renting all the Michael
Moore movies. "I really feel sorry for American liberals, but the
Canadian economy just can't support them." an Ottawa resident said.
"How many art-history majors does one country need?"

In case you are wondering Myron Floren was Welk's accordion player. Must end this post and go laugh some more. God Bless the United States and I hope our Canadian brothers and sisters forgive the GOP and Tea Party, eh?

"The Democrats say that the United States has had its days in the sun, that our nation has passed its zenith. My fellow citizens, I utterly reject that view."
~Ronald Reagan

1 comment:

Elvis the Butler said...

Just read this with a bunch in an office and even the democrats lol'd