This is an open challenge to meet me in a sanctioned boxing arena for 3 rounds, lasting 3 minute per round, for a charity sporting event with proceeds going to those unfortunate that are not able to buy hardware or your ridiculously expensive constantly beta platform software. The winner will have contributions from proceeds distributed, in his name, to preselected charities which will be published before the match. The loser shall cease and desist from all public activity concerning all things computerese. Please reply soon so we can establish a venue and rules.
Sincerely,
Dock West
Personal note: Hey, lardass. Yeh, you Ballmer Stooge. Quit making everyone miserable. Do something positive for community service and awareness. Your company has a vulgar amount of capital and your efforts to squash anyone opposed are reminders of a dude named Adolph and an organization known as Nazis. Stop your whining, don't throw anymore chairs across a stage and act like a man. As a matter of fact be innovative and act like a sane man.
You might like the idea that I am your senior by several years and am as out of shape physically as your fatassness. We can specify a 60 day training period, medical certification and then proceed to the squared circle where I shall thoroughly thrash you down to the mat exposing you as the sick sniveling weakling who poses as a sane man with a company that seems headed for the dumpster if they don't quit picking on decent folks trying to compete.
Mr. Ballmer, there is no doubt that you are NOT Southern. If you were native to the Deep South someone would have put you to sleep long ago. Be forewarned, even though I am out of shape and this challenge seems utterly ridiculous (my money says you are just too yellow and cowardly to accept this challenge) the gauntlet is thrown down and I WILL meet you under the aforementioned conditions for a most entertaining sporting event. Trust me fight fans will get their money's worth because I won't knock you out until the third round.
It might behoove you to do some research. Being a proud Mississippian I feel the need to inform your sorry Yankee ass that even though that Yankee War of Aggression favored your kind, our ability to fight and persevere is legend. For every Rebel soldier that died in that conflict four, that's 4, you know 1 2 3 then 4 Yankees died. Google it and BTW, please use Google - that MSN search thangy you promote is downright goofy. A message to all my Northern friends; know that I am "firing for effect/affect" here. This is certainly not a slap at y'all, just ole lardass.
Preferred referee of my choice? Steve Jobs of Apple, Don King, George Foreman, Linus Torvalds, Ashby Rhett Culpepper, III, Esq., Jr., or even Bill Gates. It won't matter because you will be thoroughly accosted and exposed as the baboon you really are...Two sounds, two sounds will be heard. My fist hitting his buckethead and his lunchbucket ass hitting the mat!
Ballmerbutt, let me know something. Act like a human being for a change.
In extreme loathing mode I am
Dock West
"It is curious that physical courage should be so common in the world and moral courage so rare."
~Mark Twain (Ballmer has neither)
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