Rosie, Why Don't You Move to Patagonia?

American Idol is not part of the beach viewing schedule. Never has been and most likely won't be seen unless a gun is pointed at my head. If that Simon creep ever shows up he'll be slapped right off the veranda. Okay my violent tendencies must be curbed. But hey, the door won't be answered. Now if you watch this show that's great and more power to you. I don't like that survivor thing either and NEVER will I watch ANYTHING with Rosie O'Donnell in it. I don't care if Celtic Woman, Jimmy Buffett and the ghost of Ronald Reagan are on the View it's not permitted to air at the beach house. Don't even look like you're gonna' ask.

I will never buy GEICO insurance. If that cheesy lizard comes on the tube the channel is changed immediately. Eveready batteries are never used. If that stupid bunny with the drum shows up on the veranda I will shotgun him to rabbit hell. If I never see another cave man commercial it'll be too soon. Prep H grosses me out and those womenses napkins n devices are just as bad. There are some sick folks in the advertising agencies. Don't drink Bud here because of the commercial they made centering around a horse farting. GROSS! If I ever see a bear in the wild it's almost a sure bet toilet paper won't be hanging from a nearby tree.

Used to never miss 2&1/2 Men on Monday night. Then Sheen popped off about the President while spoutiong liberal garbage and I don't watch it anymore. George Clooney and that Baldwyn dude, the one with the greasy hair who is terrorizing his daughter and Kim what's her name, are Hollywood halfwits. How many Baldwyns are there!??! Brad Pitt said it best when Oprah asked him to comment on politics. He replied, "Why are you asking me? I am just an actor and should keep such matters private."

Yes, I do watch Oprah about once a month. My intent there is to find out what she has told women to do with our missing socks. Al Bundy brought this to my attention. Anyone needing just one sock of a pair let me know. This dilemma has moved into appliance manufacturing as well. It seems most women blame the washer or dryer for the missing sock problem. I don't believe it for a minute! Hah, it's the modern underground railroad for socks of mystery. Oprah must own stock in GE and Maytag. Being a happily divorced bachelor of 15 years it amazes me that this conspiracy continues. Are women sneaking in and taking the socks and laughing? Oh, the insanity of it all!

When I do view news it's ONLY Fox. CNN/HN Sucks, but Erica Hill is one smoking babe for sure. The liberal leftwingers need medication. If that bitch from hell Hillary Clinton gets elected I will go live in the woods and wait for the Apocalypse. She will tap Bill as VP. Yep it's legal. My lawyer told me so. This scared me and I think there was fear in the lawyer's eyes. Please democrats, unite and elect Edwards, he seems like a nice man with some sense. I said some. The democrats stand a good chance to win the next election so use good judgment and put your most sane candidate at the front. The Republicans have a motley crew. Rudy could win no doubt but the idiot is pro gun control. There's the southern voting block gone. He'll need us to win.

These are my stories and Ima stickin' to em. Later.

"Politicians are like diapers. They both need changing regularly and for the same reason."
~Daniel Franklin West