Hide the groceries and the coffee, Ma! He's a comin' this way n he's an eatin' mosheen!

Spent a lot of time reading about the Atkins Diet yesterday. Come on people, support and help are needed! This diet takes away most everything I find pleasure in anymore and I simply am not masochistic. Besides, my co-workers will kill me before the first week is over. The coffee thing is getting to me. Eliminate coffee for the rest of my life? The alcohol thing will be okay; not my first go at that, LOL. The potato chips will be sorely missed but there are alternatives. But no rice? Is the whole country of China wrong? How many fat Chinese people have you seen lately?

Exploring alternatives. Before, when overcoming weight problems, it was done through intense exercise and moderation of intake. Still had coffee in the morning and just suffered through the hunger pains. Is there a possible mix? I don't think so. This ketosis thing (it's actually lipolysis which is the actual burning of stored fat and ketosis is a byproduct of that action - that makes me uncomfortable knowing that terminology is wrong and aficionados continue to use this misnomer) is a necessary part of induction.

Believe it or not I like salads. Also love vegetables and can be caught secretly eating brussel sprouts several times a week. Dairy products and potatoes are nice. I can do without the sodas or 'cokes' as they are called in the Deep South. Pork skins can be eaten and potato chips are bad? Just doesn't seem proper. Meat, eggs and cheese almost unlimited? Noticed a recurring question on the FAO list about constipation. Hey, real simple! Quit eating so much cheese! Bless be the brie that binds!

Am I ready for this? Well, I've never intentionally tortured myself although the unintentional abuse has run rampant through my life at times. Hey all you folks that are having success, more power to you! Your will is greater than mine no doubt. Somehow, someway it is mandatory that I find a way to exercise more, eat better and lose weight. Just don't think I am ready for the Atkins diet. Dr. John, if you are reading, sorry this just 'ain't gonna' get it'!. I'll run 5 miles a day if necessary. But no coffee? I'll get off caffeine eventually because death is inevitable. Hope someone puts a bag of Odyssey coffee in my pine box. Time for a pair of new Nikes, a load of celery and carrot sticks and a lotta, lotta prayer.

Just mentioning the Atkins diet was cause for several comments. Flame away if needed, but recommendations of alternatives that will not banish things robusto and arabica will be certainly appreciated. Not completely ruling out Atkins yet. I am getting too old for this ----{expletive deleted}? Admitting to the whole world how weak I am depresses me. Guess I'll have a slice of key lime cheese cake and a cup of dark roast...

"My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four. Unless there are three other people."
Orson Welles (1915 - 1985)