Goodbye Little Friend

It's time to be sober and straightforward for a few minutes. The past month or so has been very trying. After a talk with Nurse-T last night, it seems my lapse in reordering meds from the VA have probably altered my mood somewhat. They have been ordered for over a week now and the VA is doing their usual which is sneaking around and trying to finish the job North Vietnamese initiated a long time ago in a country far, far away. Their shipping is pathetic. Even though I do hit real whine mode on occasion my demeanor is usually upbeat and happy. I love positive things, especially positive people. Bitches have no place in my world. They are not tolerated. Female and male.

The past few weeks have been spent racking my brain and trying to recover some lost data. This has kept me awake at night and many fellow techs have been queried about possible solutions. I am still striving for closure on this project since it is consuming me. My life is a shambles to a degree because I cannot give up. These people need my help and I want to deliver. If you have a copy of Veritas ExecBackup 9.0, I need it long enough to recover some tape backups. Then it will be removed and the disk destroyed. It's too expensive for the beach house to buy. BTW, thanks Beagle for the copy of the older version. It is helping.

After a weekend of crawling around just long enough to find and take meds, my back is still sore, but better. Basically this past weekend was lost to the stupor Flexiril produces. Now I have to rush like crazy and catch up on delayed projects. My expensive motherboard in my awesome SLI gaming machine is definitely dead. I think it may have ruined two uber power supplies too. So that project is shelved for several weeks. A man must know his priorities and limitations.

The above paragraphs were written early this morning.

Just learned I lost a friend. My daughter's long time companion and super dog, Ellen B, passed away. She will be missed. What an up tempo happy creature. Gosh, she was so smart. She loved Em so much. And Em loved her. Such a kind gentle spirit. You know, if God will grant humans the privilege of making it to heaven, He must let these wonderful, loyal creatures in too. Believe me folks, this little dog made it. She will be missed. Through the tears I am praying not only for this wonderful creature that blessed all our lives, but also for the humans that she touched during her time on earth. God in Heaven knows I love you Em. Anything is what I'll do for you. Try to be strong. There are so many people that need and love you. Your family needs you and Izzy, Rosie and the rest of the gang need ya too! My heart is heavy with grief yet my problems mentioned now seem minimal. Anything, my daughter, anything.

Sunset and evening star,
And one clear call for me!
And may there be no moaning of the bar,
When I put out to sea,

But such a tide as moving seems asleep,
Too full for sound and foam,
When that which drew from out the boundless deep
Turns again home.

Twilight and evening bell,
And after that the dark!
And may there be no sadness of farewell,
When I embark;

For though from out our bourne of Time and Place
The flood may bear me far,
I hope to see my Pilot face to face
When I have crossed the bar.
~Alfred, Lord Tennyson