Grill Wars - Revenge of the Possumnator

Around 3:00AM there was a noise outside the door. After falling asleep at the workbench this clatter startled me awake and it flashed through my mind what poor soul would be trying to steal the leadsled? Jerking the door open it was discovered that Arnold, opossumus germanicus austriabodicus, was once again trying to steal the grill not the El Camino. At least, not yet. What does he think he's gonna' do with the grill?!?! Put it in the top of the oak tree and invite his possum friends over for a roasted pocket bread soiree? I can see the headline - 'Foolish man chains barbeque grill to porch to keep local fauna from becoming thieves.' Or worse - 'Man found severely mangled after interrupting supply line of local United Possum Guild, #42.'

Good Lord, please deliver me from this denizen of brazen marsupials. The next thing you know he'll want my Emeril cookbooks! I must go rest now...

"Laughter is the closest distance between two people."
-Victor Borge