Memorial Day Monday

This Holiday? Here's a recent email that explains the weekend celebration agenda at the beach house:




To the Laundry Witch, All Knowing and All Powerful One!

So, you want to know what I am doing this fine holiday? Gee Golly Whiz, I lead such an exciting life. If James Bond was real he'd envy me. First, there is the arrival at the Dishwasher Resort located at Double Sink. Several hours after arrival, there will be a Mop ooooooooooooo-dee Floorathon. Next the Vac Off which is always fun. This year it includes the Shampoo Carpet Scrub Off. Then I'll participate in the Lawn Mowing Extravaganza. We have several classes this year. I'll enter the riding, pushing and weed eating contests after breaking an all time record in the Belt Replacing Sprint. Then a great event will occur. It's called Rubbing Out and Buffing the Truck. Here, it's predicted that a massive weight loss thru perspiration will occur. You know, the rubon n waxoff thingy. If there's time, after the possible heartattackorama, I'll also enter the Garage Garbage Haul Off Endurance Race. Then for a great safari!!!! I get to kill the Smelly Growling Thangy in the Garage. Oh yess, yesssss! Indeed-dee!! Then a nice casual evening will be spent pressure washing the house. Somewhere in the midst of these Gala Festivities (and the pressure washer) 14 client machines have to have a new edition of antivirus software installed and then on to installing a power supply in a PC. And guess what? My old lardbutt gets to do all this alone. But hey, if the time limits are conquered my reward will be to change out the door opening thangamadoogit in the garage. Know what, I can't wait for the 4th of July. It'll be garage painting day! If I live through this holiday, I mean. Ahhhh the smell of fresh paint in the morning when the temperature is hotter than the bright side of Mercury. Boy-Howdy! There's a celebration for ya!

So, what r y'all doing? Something boring like eating ribs and partying like it's 2099?

Love, smooches and all that jazz,

M

P.S. Tell Lisa the beach house said hiya since she won't answer phone calls. Whatever it is that I have done I am so very sorry. After all I am just a man and am not worthy...



Besides of all this, time has to be found to thank the Good Lord for sending me my support group that helps me cope with Vietnam-mares. Also, our troops past, present and future will be mentioned in prayer. Everybody have a great Memorial Day tomorrow.

"If we are facing in the right direction, all we have to do is keep on walking."
~Buddha