1. Never again shall the tires go completely flat on the riding lawn mower.
2. The name of the Daddy of the young bicycle rider that keeps flying by while I am attempting yard work and screams "lardass" at the top of his voice will be mine. Daddy and I will have a chat. He will be reminded that the Chief of Police is my neighbor.
3. Somehow I will find a way to lose weight because young cycle rider screams by bearing the truth. Number 2 may take some rethinking as a matter of fact. This may actually be a good thing.
4. Never again will I attempt to mow the front yard with my push mower. I vaguely remember the last few rows of the 5 that were done and looking out the window you'd think I'd reverted to my Purple Haze years.
5. My next major purchase after replacing a network computer will be an automatic dishwasher that'll be turbocharged and require dylithium crystals (see www.startrek.com).
6. My bathroom shall never revert to its present state. Mr. Clean shall become a daily operative in that conquest.
7. Double 'A' batteries will always be purchased in a minimum of 6 packs.
8. After some thought strike number 2 from the list.
This is lardass saying, "Outta here n Diet Sierra Mist rules!"
"I dream for a living."
-Steven Spielberg
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